Many people ask me – why all of the Cyclopes? First, let me say I was disappointed to learn that the plural of Cyclops is not “Cyclopses.” I thoroughly enjoyed the silliness of saying it that way.
There are many layers of reasons why I started painting cyclopes earlier in 2013. Before my plunge into the land of cyclops and bright colors, I had tied my worth as an artist to realism the way we all tie our drooping spirits to things to feel special. (Ew!) It was a losing battle, and horribly stifling. Trying to build self worth from being a perfectionist in any creative outlet will leave you paralyzed, there are countless people better. Hungrier. Trust-Fundier. That doesn’t mean you should give up! Art is language without boundaries or rules or definitions. Learn the creative language of your choice, build your skill. This is what you will use to speak. Now what are you going to say?
That was where I was stuck, early 2013. I could speak, but I was artistically CONSTIPATED. I was so dead inside, I was completely unable to speak with my art. Not in a fun Harpo Marx sort of way, either.
– a watercolor self-portrait that expressed my state of mind better than words
I was primed to explode. Now that I’ve painted a picture of the mindset I was in before I started drawing cyclopes, let’s go back further to some of the things that awakened me slowly.
I am horrifically obsessed with the internet in a stream-of-consciousness sort of way. I like to put my boney little fingers right on the pulse of the human brain mass that is plugged in with me at any given moment. Somehow, I was able to find this video shortly after it was released in the middle of 2011:
I can say for certain that this video rekindled my attraction to the eyeball as a stand-alone item. I was always obsessed with painting and drawing eyes, and this was the one thing people would always comment on in my human and animal portraits. I just needed a few more things to push me into full cyclops mode…
-an old graphite self-portrait with expressive saddy sad eyes
In October of 2011, I stumbled across these gentlemen in an antique store in Anoka, MN. I should have bought them (said my inner hoarder), but instead I took some photos. I know that the multiple odd eyes are becoming more popular in art these days, but these fellows are the initial source of inspiration on the multiple eye stuff in my work.
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I spent a lot of nights baby-stepping out of my artistic dormancy in 2012. I had to force myself to draw, I had to ask Jeff to give me assignments because I truly couldn’t come up with anything. It was extremely frustrating to not know what to do with the built up energy.
– Jeff’s suggestion of “a unicorn and a dinosaur in a tickle fight” proved to be quite enjoyable.
One night I sat here on this couch and I was staring at him a little too close, as I like to do. My eyes became crossed and his oversized blue eyes combined in the middle of his head. I saw him as a cyclops, and I lost my mind. I had to paint him immediately. I made him sit there as I sloppily painted him in colors you’d expect on an old science fiction novel cover. Those were the only acrylic paints I had, as we were using them for a green-screen video test.
– This was the first cyclops, dated 10/1/12.
I knew that night that I had found it. I FOUND IT. I found out what I wanted to say, and I have a lot to say. It could have been anything, but this was the first breakthrough. These were the first few sparks of the explosion on its way.
Looking at cyclopes has always made me uncomfortable. I’m sure it makes most people uncomfortable. When I drew this on an airplane, the man next to me was enjoying the experience of watching me draw until the giant eyeball came out. He physically recoiled.
– ink and colored pencil, drawn on a long flight to California
When I look at this, I feel such a perfect alignment of my internal self to the imagery. It does not make me uncomfortable to look at the image when I draw the cyclops. You are looking right into me when you look at this. It is completely for my own enjoyment and expression, but selfishly I want you to remember me. Knowing that it it horrifies (some) people makes me gleeful. FINALLY, a reaction to my work! 🙂
The cyclops for me is rebellion, it is a scream, it is an explosion and a personal revolution. I once told someone it was a huge FUCK YOU to the world, which was an oversimplified and misdirected statement. The world was not holding me back, I was doing that.
I want everyone to feel as free as I do now. I want observers to look at my art and feel comfortable with whatever freakish parts of themselves they are ashamed of. Diversity as individuals is not only beautiful and interesting, it is necessary and vital to survival. Love yourself and the people around you, love them for their differences. Be uncomfortable on purpose!!! Let your cyclops out! 🙂 Or better yet, let me cyclopsify you… I’m kind of on a mission.
-Bee
